Navigating Storms

 I have an astigmatism in both eyes. It is very common but if you are unfamiliar, when light enters my eyes it cannot focus which results in blurry and distorted vision. I can barely see in perfect weather conditions - don’t let it rain or we’ll really be in trouble! I can somewhat manage in a little bit of rain, but when it pours I can’t see at all, so if I am a car driving, I am driving on faith. Oftentimes I think of pulling over to the side to wait for the rain to pass but I don’t. I give myself a pep talk to keep doing, because eventually the storm will end and I don’t want to be where I was when the storm began.

There are a lot more complexities when considering the storms of life. During my personal storms my faith began to hang on by a thread. I wish I could say I was totally believing in God but I wasn’t. Like driving in the pouring rain, I found it quite hard to see past what I was experiencing. I utilized the little faith I had and that was to get up each morning and declare Psalm 118:24: "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” Truth be told, I didn’t believe the words I spoke. In fact, I hated the day. That is the mental space I was in. I can’t count how many times I said, “If this is what you have for me, we can wrap this up now because I don’t want it!” Let me be clear, I wasn’t suicidal, I wasn’t going to harm myself, but I didn’t care about life because I was dealing with so much. I was emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed. The storm felt like it was never going to end and I just wanted to pull over and quit. 

Even though I didn’t fully believe the scripture to be true because of how I was feeling, I KNEW the word of God to be true so I kept saying it. Things got worse, not for days or months, but for years and that’s a long time to feel defeated. I was so consumed by the impacts of the storm I failed to focus on the one who can calm it.. Not realizing the enemy was accomplishing his goals in distorting my vision to delay me from reaching my destiny. Additionally, I was trying to fight it with my own strength which eventually gave out. I needed to not only speak the word of God, but also believe it and eventually I did. It wasn’t happenstance, after enough frustration of being in the same place, I began to find joy in the little that remained. I refocused my energy on having gratitude for what was, instead of being consumed with mourning what was lost. Changing my focus changed everything. 

Everyone faces the storm but not everyone makes it out. The difference in outcomes is dependent upon our decisions while in it. Do not pull over! I know you can’t keep going at 70 MPH, but the 25 MPH you can do adds up! If you have pulled over, slowly make your way back in. The storm is going to pass, I know it doesn’t seem that way, but it will. The question is: where will you be when it ends?  Will you be pulled off on the shoulder letting life pass you by or will you keep going, inching along the way, affirming yourself in the word of GOD daily despite how you feel, not realizing you are slowly progressing in the direction of your appointed destination. It may not feel like you are making any progress, but when the rain stops, the clouds pass, and the sky becomes clear, you’ll be able to look back and see how far you’ve come. It’s a difficult drive, but you’ll be glad you kept going!